


Chekov's Vodka

by ironyruinedmylife



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 13 days of Hartmon, Cisco as Legolas, Dr Wells does not approve, Dr Wells is such a Dad omg, Gen, Hartley's got Danisnotonfire hair okay guys, M/M, Star labs parties go Hard, cisco is a happy drunk, dr wells is actually a decent person in this, drunken confessions of Like, hartley is a Truthbomb drunk, hartley is a hobbit, seriously hes so cute, shocking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:23:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironyruinedmylife/pseuds/ironyruinedmylife
Summary: 'He sighed softly, he loved this kind of party, it was so nice to see everyone having a good time.And he really did mean everyone.Because that was Hartley Rathaway, professional loser and killjoy, dressed as a hobbit.'





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry its late, jetlag is the Worst

_Somehow_ , someone had gotten Dr Wells to agree to throwing a Star Labs halloween party, and not only that, but the party was _awesome_. Cisco stood dressed impeccably in his frankly astoundingly detailed Legolas costume, hair braided perfectly to _swoosh_ , happily people watching while the music thumped a comforting rhythm into his chest. He sighed softly, he _loved_ this kind of party, it was so nice to see everyone having a good time.  
  
And he really did mean _everyone_.  
  
Because that was Hartley Rathaway, professional loser and killjoy, dressed as a hobbit.   
  
Cisco squinted at him, trying to deduce if maybe Hartley had a good twin, and this was the first time he had been allowed outside wherever Hartley kept him. Then the Good Twin spotted him, and began to walk over, and Cisco’s eyes widened as he tried to look vaguely casual and not like he had been staring for the last five minutes.  
  
“Hey.” He ended up going for, while leaning against a pillar. The Good Twin raised an eyebrow at him, and _huh_ , the Good Twin was actually kind of cute with his curly hair and wide blue eyes.   
  
“Hola, Cisquito.” And nope, _Evil_ Twin, that was Hartley Rathaway, just…significantly _cuter_ than usual, maybe he was just always this cute and it was just the gigantic stick up his ass that had stopped Cisco from noticing before. But, Cisco thought as he silently observed his companion, he didn’t look like _Hartley_ , he had curly hair for one, cute little waves and soft ringlets that Cisco _really_ wanted to tug on, and his eyes were so much brighter, so much more _innocent_ than Hartley’s, they lacked that cynical edge that always made Cisco’s heart ache.   
  
Cisco smiled brilliantly, inspiration suddenly striking him as he vaguely noticed that Hartley was blushing lightly.   
  
“Hey, Hartley. You’re…Frodo, right?” He asked, making a guess between Bilbo and his nephew, Hartley grinned at him, and Cisco filed that away under evidence that someone had kidnapped the _real_ Hartley and that this was just a clone.   
  
“Yeah, it was the best I could do at short notice, you’re Legolas, aren’t you, I _love_ what you did with your hair.” Clearly Clone Hartley replied. Cisco decided to play along until he could work out what the Clone’s endgame was.   
  
“Speaking of which, I didn’t know your hair was curly.” He stated, reaching out and tugging experimentally on a curl, watching with amusement as the Clone blushed pink.  
  
“Yeah…it’s naturally wavy but when I get wet I kind of look like a poodle, and I got caught in the rain on the way here.” Hartley’s Clone offered in a shy way that the Real Hartley would never have allowed. Cisco continued to play along, smiling softly   
  
“Why _are_ you here, I thought this wasn’t really your scene…” Hartley rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged awkwardly, that was more like the Real Hartley, Cisco mused, the Real Hartley always did that when he was uncomfortable.   
  
“Harrison told me I should come.” He said quietly. Cisco nodded, Dr Wells was _always_ coddling Hartley, it was kind of uncomfortable sometimes, especially when Hartley was clearly busy or Not Okay. Generally when that happened Cisco tended to have something Really Important to do with Hartley Right _Now_ , Dr Wells.   
  
“Fair enough, I gotta say, man, you do need to get out more.” Just as Hartley was about to respond, Ronnie came around with shots again, and Cisco was trying to wrap his head around the fact that Hartley was apparently experienced with large quantities of alcohol, somehow he’d pictured Hartley as being someone who never drank Ever except when it was some fancy champagne at a Dinner, he hadn’t seen the way Hartley threw back the shot with practiced ease coming, turning to him like he hadn’t just ingested something with about 60% alcohol in one go.   
  
“Damn, you go _hard_.” Cisco mumbled into his own shot, wincing as it went down. Hartley shrugged good-naturedly   
  
“It’s fine, I’ve had like seven of those and I feel _great_.” It was then that Cisco noticed Hartley’s slightly glazed over eyes, and his eyebrows hit his hairline as he realised that Hartley was _smashed_. “Wanna recreate that One Scene with Gimli and Legolas?”  
  
And Cisco just couldn’t say no to _that_.   
  
Two hours and an improbable number of shots later found Cisco collapsed against a wall and Hartley swaying violently as he was cheered on by the gathered crowd, he took the final shot and grinned widely as he yelled out “I think its starting to effect me! I feel a slight tingling in my fingers…” With that he bowed and toppled over, ending up curled against Cisco, who patted his head clumsily  
  
“I _really_ like you. You’re funny.” Cisco giggled. Hartley grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek  
  
“You’re really cool and I like your dumb t-shirts.” He stated. Cisco wiggled in happiness   
  
“Y’know I used to really, like _super_ d-dislike you, like if you knew how much you’d be like ‘ _whoa_ , that is…a lot’ but now it’s kind of just…nice. You’re real bonito, Hart.” He reached over and patted Hartley’s head again, and grinned when he tried to remove his hand and Hartley made a soft noise in protest  
  
“I didn’t really dislike you, Cisq- Cic- _Cisco_ , but like, I don’t wanna be replaced, y’know? Like, its _horrible_ when that happens, it’s like two, no wait, _three_ puppies dying. It’s bad.” Hartley nodded emphatically as Cisco hummed in agreement  
  
“Then, we have to be par- part…um, _friends!_ We gotta look out for each other, m'kay?”   
  
“Okay, Cisco.” Hartley nodded sleepily as Cisco patted his head softly. The staff of Star Labs pretended not to notice when Dr Wells finally found the pair of them after a frantic three am search, took a quick photo for potential blackmail purposes and threw a blanket over them.   
  
The next day Cisco and Hartley walked into the Cortex in huge sweaters and sunglasses.   
  
“Good morning.” Dr Wells called. Hartley lowered his sunglasses and felt blindly around until he found the mans chest, and patted it while nodding   
  
“Harrison?” He murmured quietly. Dr Wells raised an eyebrow  
  
“Yes, Hart?” He replied.   
  
“Cisco and I decided that we’re friends. But you’re also not going to let us go to parties anymore.” He demanded. Dr Wells smiled fondly and nodded.  
  
“Parties were a bad idea, who invented them?” Cisco asked softly, glowering at the floor. Hartley shrugged  
  
“I don’t know, but we should send them an angry letter.” He suggested. Cisco nodded, before wincing quietly   
  
“A _very_ angry letter.” He concluded. Dr Wells grinned at them  
  
“I have some painkillers and a reliable coffee machine in my office, wait here, boys.” He ordered, turning away only to be stopped by Hartley’s hand clumsily grabbing his shirt  
  
“We _love_ you. You are a _godsend_.” He muttered, Cisco making sounds of agreement in the background. As Dr Wells walked away, Cisco turned to Hartley and attempted a smile  
  
“We’re still cool right?” He asked. Hartley blinked at him  
  
“No, Cisco, I still hate you after spending an entire night cuddling you and taking shots of what I think must have been Chekov’s personal vodka supply.” He grouched. Cisco elbowed him and delighted in the long groan that followed  
  
“Don’t be a _dick_ , Hart.”   
  
“You’re no fun.” Hartley glared “But seriously who had all the booze cause I want more of that stuff.”   
  
“Hartley, you can barely stay upright.” Cisco pointed out “But yeah, same, that was _good_ stuff.”   
  
Then of course, Dr Wells appeared, and steered them towards his office, handing them painkillers, water and a mug of strong coffee each. Once they were sat down he turned and stared disapprovingly at them “I’m fairly sure you just told me not to let you go to anymore parties.”   
  
“Chekov's vodka doesn’t apply…” Hartley wheedled  
  
“It really doesn’t, there aren’t any streamers or banners, every party needs those. It's just alcohol.” Cisco pointed out.  
  
“As your Official Appointed Adult, I’m banning you.” Dr Wells stated calmly. Hartley and Cisco glanced at each other.  
  
 _Chaos_ erupted.   
  
A few minutes later Dr Wells had realised why he should definitely not have given up trying to separate them, together they were a force of nature and could not be stopped. Once the Flash _finally_ arrived, he really would have to step his game up. Dr Wells sighed and attempted to get out of his locked office, only to look up and see Hartley smirking at him and pocketing the keys as Cisco laughed mercilessly.   
  
His boys were in _so_ much trouble. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment!


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